My Dear America:
It was getting late on Sunday Afternoon in Orlando at C-PAC after the results of the Presidential Straw Poll that Surprise, Surprise Donald Trump won by capturing 55 Percent of the vote.
What - Only 55 Percent of the vote.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis came in Second
And
South Dakota Governor Christi Noem came in Third.
To be Honest, the C-PAC Straw Polls of the past had not been Great Predictors of Presidential Election Success. Ron and Rand Paul had been previous C-PAC Straw Poll Winners. As we know, Things had not worked out well for their Presidential Aspirations
There had clearly been a rather Different Vibe this time around this year at C-PAC. Unlike other years there were empty seats this time around. There weren't as many men in suits looking like they were at an FBI Convention this time around. The crowd looked diverse, at least in dress. Certainly that could have been at least partly because this time around C-PAC was being held in Orlando, Florida.
The crowd seemed to be at least partially made up of Hillbilly Wannabes and actual Hillbillies, as well as Bikers. There were some people who looked like College Students from the Math and Business Departments of some prestigious schools. When the Loudspeakers rang out with the sounds of "Macho Man" the College Students danced what I would call the Pogo. In other words they just jumped up and down looking like they were on Pogo Sticks. Quite Frankly, it looked pretty weird.
Friday and Saturday had been filled with Speeches and Group Discussions featuring many of the Usual Republican Suspects including Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, Jim Jordan, Mike Pompeo, Donald Trump Junior, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley and many others. Funnyman Ted Cruz started his speech with a real killer of a joke about how Awesome Orlando was, "But Not as Awesome as Cancun." That joke went over like a fart in church.
Some of the Group Discussions were bizarre featuring many individuals who nobody had ever heard of talking mainly about the Greatness of Conservatism, How terrible Joe Biden was doing and, of course, the Greatness of Donald Trump.
One of the Group Discussions featured a guy with a Terribly Gay looking Hairdo (Emphasis on the Terrible). His name was Maj Toure and he was joined by a few other black Conservatives. They sounded as though they were all feeling the spirit in a Black Baptist Church and the Spirit was Conservatism. Maj had a tough time keeping the group under control.
What I noticed over what I could stomach watching of C-PAC on Friday and Saturday was that some of the spontaneous enthusiasm of yesteryear was not there this year. I remember watching previous C-PAC Conventions which in fairness were almost always in Washington D.C. where the Republican Suits seemed to be packed in like sardines and on fire with Conservative Zeal throughout the Convention. In other years The suits were on their feet nearly all the time that "Conservatives" were speaking. The enthusiasm was palpable. You could feel it throughout the C-PAC weekends.
Not this time.
Not even after the C-PAC Movies that came on right before Trumpzilla lumbered onto the stage. The movies could have been called "C-PAC Around The World." The movies were fast paced and eye catching. They were interesting and well produced promotional films for C-PAC. Clearly some considerable money had been spent on them. One of the Movies was a Tribute to fallen Conservative Hero and Icon, Rush Limbaugh.
But then the films were over and although C-Span had advertised that Donald Trump had been scheduled to appear at 3:40 he never made it until long after Four PM.
It was very late in the afternoon when Trumpzilla, himself arrived on the scene lumbering onto the C-PAC Stage. As he passed the American Flag he did not hug it this time as he had in Previous years. He just sort of grabbed at it and kept on going.
Although there was certainly an enthusiastic reception for the former president it was less than he had been used to prior to his Incitement of Insurrection on January 6th of this year. Indeed, one of the most interesting things to me about this year's C-PAC festivities was that the Radical Right Wing Storming of the Capitol on January 6th, 2021 was not ever mentioned by anyone on the stage throughout the weekend. To the C-PAC Attendees It was like it never even happened.
As is usually the case with Donald Trump his "Speech" was disjointed and unorganized and flipped around from one bizarre topic to another with not much planning of what he was about to say next. "We've been doing a lot of winning" Trump said strangely.
Trump paid his respects to Rush Limbaugh, who had died recently and had a movie about him shown on two big screens right before Trumpzilla arrived.
Trumpzilla then began to nail his favorite things to complain about:
Fake Media
Cancel Culture - What - Trump didn't invent Cancel Culture but he certainly was a strong purveyor of it throughout his Political Life.
Radicalism
Socialism
Communism - Except for Vladimir Putin. Trumpzilla thought Poor Vlad was misunderstood.
But what Trumpzilla was really after on the C-PAC Stage was to discuss what a disastrous month it had been since he had left Washington and Joe Biden had taken up residence at the White House.
Biden was, according to Trump, Anti Jobs, Anti Women and Anti Science.
However - I think that it could be successfully argued that in reality it was Donald Trump who was Anti Jobs, Anti Women and Anti Science.
According to Trumpzilla America had in the past month gone from "America First to America Last."
A catchy phrase but Certainly not true. Indeed, I think the opposite is true. America has gone from America Worst to the Best America has been in four years.
Then the Grievances and the bragging really began.
Biden was going to open the borders to "Chain Migration."
Biden should open the schools "NOW."
The Republican Party is "The Party Of Love."
Send Money to the "Save America PAC".
And what about those Turncoat Republican Bastards and Bitches who had the Audacity to vote for Trump's Impeachment.
And Don't Forget that Republicans need to "Save the Second Amendment" from Democrats who want to take America's Guns away from them.
But Most of all Trump wanted all C-PAC attendees to know that the truth was that Donald Trump had won both the 2016 and 2020 Elections and he was seriously considering beating the Democrats for a Third Time.
As Trumpzilla lumbered off the stage to the strains of the Village People singing "Its fun to Stay at the YMCA" It was obvious to me that although Donald Trump incited an Insurrection in Washington D.C. on January 6th and since then had been living out of the limelight, that we had not suffered the last of the Revenge of Trumpzilla. He might be leaving for now but like Douglas Macarthur and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Trumpzilla would be back in one way or another.
But at least those of us who were not Trumpzilla Addicts could enjoy four years of New Hope and Change and breathe a sigh of Glorious Relief that a Normal Administration was Now in the White House and will be there for at least four more years.
Glory Hallelujah
Sincerely Yours
Jerry Gallagher
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