Thursday, May 3, 2012

Get Out The Etch A Sketches, Brothers and Sisters: Here Comes Mitt Romney

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012




My Dear America:


Well, It has finally happened.  


After this week, except for Ron Paul, Mitt Romney and his Big Bucks Buddies have pretty much clinched the Republican Nomination for President of the United States.  Unless Mitt is caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy (expression courtesy of Huey Long) before the Republican Convention he is home free and will be the Republican Nominee.


Rick Santorum bailed out weeks ago but it took a little longer for Newt Gingrich to give up the Ghost, which is what his Presidential Campaign had become.  As long as Sheldon Adelson, The Las Vegas Millionaire who kept Newt's campaign on Life Support for most of its recent existence, kept the millions coming Newt still seemed to be convinced that he was going to be the one. 


As of Yesterday, though, Newt finally had to admit that he was not going to be the One and "suspended" his campaign.  That didn't seem to mean quitting because he still sounded like he was on the stump railing at Obama this time instead of Romney.


Santorum bailed out right before the Pennsylvania Primary Election and I suspect that he was, at that point, having nightmare reflections about his last Pennsylvania Election when Bob Casey beat him so badly that It certainly appeared as though Santorum's Political Career was finished.  Considering the brutal defeat that Casey gave Santorum it seemed to me that Santorum was a fool to try out for the Republican Nomination.  In the end, though, Santorum proved that his Radical Right Wing Message still had plenty of takers in the Republican Party and the Biggest Pennsylvania Loser became a winner in several Primaries.


Certainly the fact that Santorum ran a No Frills, No Money Campaign helped him in the long run to keep going until his wins began to bring in some Right Wing Bucks.  


Certainly Santorum must also be credited with taking the health of his daughter, Bella, into consideration when he walked away from the campaign trail but the Spectre of Pennsylvania defeat certainly played its part in Santorum's decision.


So now Mitt Romney can reset his campaign and aim his Big Bucks Operation at defeating Barack Obama, rather than defeating his Republican opponents.  


Ron Paul continues to show a loyal and pretty substantial following  throughout the U.S although it is hard to tell who might be hurt worse, Barack Or Mitt, if Ron Paul run's a Third Party Campaign.  Paul's policy views run the gamut from Extremely Liberal (Getting our troops out of the Middle East and legalizing drugs) to Extremely Conservative (Closing down the Federal Reserve Bank).  


It is anybody's guess as to what will happen to Mitt Romney's views as he is freed from the stranglehold of the Tea Party over the Republican Party.  Romney's handlers are surely getting the Etch a Sketch ready to go as the newest version of Mitt Romney is prepared for distribution to the American people.   


Romney has had no problem throughout his political career in changing his views to suit his audience or to suit his prospective voters.  The newest version of Mitt Romney will certainly be available for consumption by American voters in the near future.  I would certainly not bet on whether the new Romney bears any similarity to the previous Mitt Romneys we have seen during this primary, as well as previous political races.  Romney has no qualms about changing his political views as often as other people change their underwear.  


I just can't wait to see what Political Views the new Mitt Romney will be wearing in November of 2012.




Sincerely Yours


Jerry Gallagher 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hurry, Hurry And Get Your Picture Taken With Newt Gingrich Before It's Too Late

Wednesday, March 27th, 2012



My Dear America:

In one of the Most Bizarre Presidential Primaries of all time something Really Strange has happened.  Stranger than Fiction, Stranger than the fact that honest to God voters voted in the Most Extreme Congress of all time.

Into all this Weirdness has come the Topper and there is no doubt as to how strange this development is and who is behind it.  Hurry up, Primary Voters, what is happening here is a sure fire signal that the campaign of long time Republican Scourge and Meglomaniac, Newt Gingrich, has finally lost it, in Oh So Many Ways.

Step right up Folks.  This is a limited (extremely limited) Offer.  

Your chance has finally come to help the Newt Gingrich Campaign establish Newt as possibly the Most Opportunistic Presidential Candidate who ever lived.

The Shameless One, down on his luck and down on his morality has done it again.  Just when you think that a candidate like Newt can't sink any lower here he comes to prove you wrong.

Yes, People, Newt Gingrich has truly proved that he has no shame and no brains.  In addition to letting go many of his Staff instead of getting out of the race and perhaps not destroying his party in the process, Newt has found another way to keep his Desperate Campaign going.

Newt Gingrich has fallen so far as to be selling himself, or at least his picture, to all takers for 50 dollars a pop.  At last glance the only taker standing in line willing to pay for a picture of themselves with Newt was Callista Gingrich and the word is out that she wasn't willing to pay more than five bucks for a photo with the Silver Haired Wonder. 

I hope Newt gives her a discount for being willing to put up with this genuine Mad Man for as long as she has to before he drops her like a bad habit like he did all his other wives.

What a Sensational Guy.  I'm sure we will all miss him when he has gone back into that Dark Oblivion from where he came.

What's the matter.  No takers for this (hopefully) once in a lifetime Photo Opportunity.  Don't forget, this offer will not last long, at least I hope not.


Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher  

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's Super Tuesday in America and Rush Limbaugh is Unhappy

March 6th, 2012


My Dear America:

Well, Super Tuesday is finally here.  Yay.

And while the conversations should be dominated by talk of the Republican Candidates for President battling it out all across the country, the conversation still seems to be mainly about Rush Limbaugh's rude and obnoxoius comments about Susan Fluke, A Georgetown Law Student who had the nerve to testify before a congressional hearing in favor of contraception. 

Her reward for her audacity was to be called by Rush Limbaugh not only a "Slut" but also a "Prostitute."  Mr Limbaugh also stated that she should have sex and put it on the World Wide Web. 

Senator Al Franken said it best when he tagged Mr. Limbaugh as a "Big Fat Idiot" but this BFI has continued his lunatic fringe rants for many, many years now favoring the Republicans, defending every stupid thing that President Bush ever did and ranting and raving about how bad every thing was that President Obama has done. 

Nothing seems to have been able to stop this Multi Millionaire Drug Addled Monster up to now.  His "Dittoheads" (I would sibstitute SH for the beginning D in that word) follow his every rant and apparently say "Ditto Rush" to every maniacal thing he says.

But the truth is that Rush may have finally gone too far.  Although Republicans have been timid in their reactions to Rush's comments none of them are being Dittoheads on this matter of calling a smart, sensible Law Student a prostitute.  In addition Rush's sponsors seem to be rushing out the door at what must be, to Rush, an alarming rate.   They are leaving or have left at such a rapid rate that Rush has even apologized.  Translation, he has been forced to say he was wrong in this case because he was trying to be "humorous."

Hey Rush.  What in God's name is so funny about calling anyone a Slut and a Prostitute?

Those of us on the right side of sanity may be hoping right now that Rush's days of being an American Demagogue may be over but I don't think we should be doing too much rejoicing yet.  This BFI has sailed through other scandals with slimy ease and knowing Rush he will be continuing to paint himself as the Victim in this case instead of the Real Victim in this case, who to her credit, has made it clear that she does not accept Rush's half baked apology.  

Good for her.

Living in the Land of The Free does have it's drawbacks.  Certainly in many less than free Nations of the World a Super Critic of the Government would be short lived.  But we live in America where the only thing that seems to be able to stop a Super Critic like Limbaugh is the sound of his sponsors slamming the door on him. 

Unfortunately the price of being free in America is that you need to put up with Madmen like Rush Limbaugh spewing their poison over the airwaves.  Would we want it any other way?

I Think Not.



Sincerely Yours 

Jerry Gallagher

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Rick Santorum's Messages from Heaven

March 1st, 2012



My Dear America:

This week provided more excitement in the Republican Primary Race for the Presidency.  Mitt Romney narrowly won the race in Michigan and convincingly won the matchup with Rick Santorum in Arizona.  Rick appealed to Democrats in Michigan and claimed that he had done well with Democrats, who were eligible to vote in that primary. 

This week also Mitt was apparently asked about what is being called the Blount Rubio Bill in Congress that would not only allow employers to deny Abortion and Contraception to their employee's under what the Republicans love to call Obamacare.  Employers under this bill would have carte blanche to take away any part of health care they are required to provide that they do not agree with in principle. Mitt was asked about his support for the bill and initially stated that he did not support the bill, although after his Republican Right Wing Base let him have it on that issue he quickly changed his tune and got on board the Right Wing Express to complete control over Americian Women's Reproductive Rights.

Contraception was the issue that Rick Santorum was pounding away at prior to the Michigan and Arizona Primaries.  He spoke about the limiting of contraception as though he had received messages from the Almighty that told him "NO ABORTION AND NO CONTRACEPTION."  Rick was kind enough to let us all in on the Lord's prounouncements on Abortion and Contraception.  It seems stunning to me, though, that God would be against contraception since that would be a reasonable way of keeping women from getting pregnant, which would, of course, eliminate the need for countless abortions.  Rick's leadership over the Contraception and Abortion Cliff might be in jeopardy, however, unless God has some sort of miracle in store for Rick on Super Tuesday.  I guess we will just have to see about that when Super Tuesday arrives.

At the present time, however, we will just have to be satisfied with our knowledge that in all things, even Republican Politics, God Truly does Work in Mysterious Ways.



Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum: Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes

Sunday February 12th, 2012



My Dear America:


It has been a good week for Rick Santorum.  After several disappointing matchups between Santorum and his Republican Rivals he won three contests this week, Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado.  None of these contests provided him with any solid delegates, although certainly none of these State's Republican Party Leaders will be able to count Santorum out when it comes to appointing delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention.

Everywhere I looked on Television this morning I saw Rick smiling and basking in the glory and the momentum that his victories this week have given him. 

Yesterday, he had what I assume were his family members, at least his wife and kids, spread across the stage at the C PAC Convention as he spoke and basked in his glory there as the latest Republican Flavor of the Week for the Tea Party and the Republican Party.

Never mind the fact that Rick Santorum proved in his last Pennsylvania Senate Race against Bob Casey that Rick was one of the Biggest Losers of all time in Pennsylvania Politics.  This is a fact that most Republicans either don't know or don't care about at this point in the Presidential Race.  Certainly Richard Nixon proved that Losers can sometimes be Winners when, after losing the Presidency to John Kennedy and the California Governorship to Edmund "Pat" Brown, he came back from virtual obscurity to win the Presidency in 1968 and 1972.  And, Of course, we all know how well that Presidency went.

Santorum is not the only Loser to have won a State Republican Primary.  Newt Gingrich did it in South Carolina, a state that he virtually stole from Mitt Romney.  Newt campaigned aggressively in South Carolina brutalizing Romney's reputation and pandering to whoever he needed to in order to win. 

Romney, who allowed Gingrich to decimate Mitt's reputation in South Carolina learned a valuable lesson in that state.  In Florida Romney outspent Newt 3 to 1 on negative ads which reminded Floridians in no uncertain terms what a flawed candidate Newt Gingrich is.  Floridians voted for Romney gave him another State Primary victory.

Now the Romney Juggernaut may have been thrown off the tracks this week for a bit but it is quite doubtful that either Santorum, Gingich or Ron Paul will be able to beat Romney in the end.  Mitt's Campaign is loaded with money but it looks like he is going to have to spend a lot of that money beating back the Republican Boys of Spring and possibly Summer.  It is going to be a long race to the finish line for the Republicans, while President Obama sits back and does his job and saves whatever money he has in his War Chest.  One thing is for certain, if all four Republican Candidates  stay in the Race they are all going to be Less Rich and far Bloodier by the time that September, October and November come around.



Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Chickens Come Home To Roost in South Carolina or The Scum Also Rises

January 21st, 2012



My Dear America:


It has been one hell of a week for the Republican Presidential Candidates still  seeking a Victory in today's South Carolina Primary.  The only Candidates left in the battle for Republican supremacy in this key southern state are Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum (What, this Loser is still in there).  Yes he is and this week was a good one for Santorum.  Iowa, after recounting the votes in their Caucus Primary Election, certified not Mitt Romney, but Rick Santorum as the final winner in their state wide Caucus election.

Two of the Candidates that weren't catching fire in South Carolina, or anywhere else, for that matter, Rick Perry and John Huntsman, jumped off the expensive primary path just prior to the South Carolina Primary.  Huntsman threw his meager support to Romney while Perry threw in with Newt Gingrich maybe with visions of the Vice Presidency in his head. 

On Monday of this week the media was not only crowning Romney as the leader and eventual Winner in South Carolina but also the winner of the  eventual Republican Presidential Nomination.  A funny thing, in fact a couple of funny things, happened on the way to the Romney Victory Celebration.  Two things that happened were two Republican Debates in which Romney tried to be a Gentleman Debater, while Newt Gingrich took the gloves off and proudly beat the bejesus out of not only Mitt Romney but also John King, CNN Debate moderator on Thursday, who had the audacity to bring up a question about an interview that was scheduled to run on Thursday Evening's Nightline Program on ABC in which Newt's second wife, Marianne Gingrich, revealed what an immoral scumbag Newt was. Newt was "appalled" at the question by Mr. King about Newt's damaged moral compass and the South Carolina crowd seemed to love it when Newt tore into the CNN Debate Moderator.

What's more is that following the airing of Newt Gingrich's extremely dirty laundry on ABC the reaction of the public on ABC.com was almost overwhelrmingly pro Newt and anti Marianne Gingrich, anti ABC and anti media.  

Suddenly the Family Values voters seemed to rise up in anger saying things like "What about Clinton," apparently forgetting the fact that Bill Clinton did not leave his wife for his girlfriends.  The Family Values voters also did not seem to be disturbed by the fact that while Gingrich, as Speaker of the House was leading the impeachment charge against Bill Clinton because of Clinton's cheating on his wife, Newt was doing the same thing with his mistress, and now wife Callista. The Family Values Voters also seemed to forget about the pattern that Newt Gingrich had established of not only cheating on his wives but cheating on them for years before dumping them for new wives (Ex mistresses)when the old wives got sick (Cancer or MS), or "too old" or not pretty enough.  Old Pretty Boy Newt was such a handsome devil that he shouldn't have to be saddled with a wife who wasn't up to his beauty standards.  

No, In South Carolina the Evangelical Christian Voters seemed to only care about Morality and Family Values when those values were violated by Democrats.  With Newt Gingrich, one of the most reprehensible Serial Adulterers and Certified Liars of all times, suddenly Family Values was something that wasn't all that important, after all.

If, indeed, Newt Gingrich wins in South Carolina and, worse yet, win's the Nomination I think that he will lose to President Obama in the final tally for the Presidency.

But, as a friend reminded me just today, there are a lot of people in the United States who hate President Obama with a vengeance and might be willing to vote for a Candidate as morally corrupt, as well as physically ugly as Newt Gingrich.

I hope and pray that corruption and hatefulness in our country has not gone so far as to make Newt Gingrich look like Presidential Material.

God forbid that we would ever live in a nation governed by a corrupt contemptable misanthrope like Newt Gingrich.



Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher

Monday, January 2, 2012

Bashing Newt Gingrich: It's not just for Democrats Anymore.

Monday, January 2nd, 2012



My Dear America:

It is one day after New Years and one day before the Iowa Caucuses, which will be the first real Primary Election Event in 2012. 

It has been a very interesting Primary Season, thus far, as the Republican Field of Primary Candidates have had a season of bashing and crashing against one another in what seemed like an endless season of Republican Primary Debates in 2012.   The result of the debates and the beginning of the Primary Season has been a whack a mole series of exploding and imploding  candidacies in which the Primary Republican Poll Leaders have shifted over time like a series of earthquakes over Iowa changing poll leaders sometimes weekly and sometimes daily.

Most of the truly serious Iowa Republican Presidential Contenders seem to have had their special moment at the top pf the Polls.  Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich have all had their moment at the top of the heap.  Ron Paul who has had slow but steady support over time seems to have surged a bit after Hemain Cain did the honorable thing and went home to his wife after being accused of sexual harassment and having a 13 year relationship with a woman who was not his wife.  

Following Hermain Cain's Campaign Implosion, in which his questionable moral judgements seemed to drive him from the race, Newt Gingrich suddenly began to surge in the Iowa polls.  Newt had continued to have a steady debate performance, unlike Rick Perry who came into the Primary race like a house on fire.  Perry's continuing debate flubs pretty quickly put the fire out.  Michelle Bachman, despite continuing inaccurate historical fact statements that would have gotten her thrown off "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" Bachman has been rather surprising in her debate performances, which consist mainly of bashing President Barack Obama and statements appeasing the Tea Party.

Newt Gingrich probably gained more from Herman Cain's departure from the Republican Presidential Pack than anyone else.  As Herman Cain's numbers went down and finally out, Newt Gingrich's poll numbers began to surge.  This is particualrly difficult to explain since Iowa voters who rejected Herman Cain in the end were mainly values voters and although there have been many things that Newt Gingrich has been accused of in his political and personal life, being a man of high moral values is not one of them.  As Newt's poll numbers began to surge, both media representatives and other Candidates began to take Newt more seriously and both Mitt Romney and Ron Paul began to send out their well funded Campaign's truth squads to try to straighten out the lies and distortions that Newt Gingrich had tried to pull off.  Newt, who has been particularly cruel to his first two wives, as he moved forward to marry his last two mistresses has been fully exposed as a liar and a cheat on the home front, as well as on the campaign front.  As a result Newt has seen his previously considerable lead dwindle to that of an also ran. 

In the closing days of the Iowa Campaign as Mitt Romney and Ron Paul seem to be very close to each other in First and Second place, something else surprising has also happened in Iowa. 

Rick Santorum, A man who was soundly defeated in his last Pennsylvania fight for his United States Senate Seat by present Senator Bob Casey, has touted his low rent Presidential candidacy by presenting himself as a big winner in his Pennsylvania Congressional and Senate races.  Apparently he seems to have amnesia about his last Senate race trouncing.  Nevertheless, as Republican candidate after candidate has bit the Iowa dust, Rick Santorum has surged in the last weeks as Newt Gingrigh has faded fast under the hot glow of the reality microscope. 

Santorum for President.  This, to me, is almost as bad a prospect as a Newt Gingrich Presidency. 

As the Republicans have cannibalized each other's candidacies in 2011 we will finally have more than polls to tell us what is happening in the 2012 Presidential race.

The Republicans will continue to beat the living daylights out of one another and President Obama,

I have visions of President Obama, who the last time around had his candidacy taken seriously after Iowa made him a Democratic Star, sitting around the White House laughing hysterically at the Republican Presidential Primary Side Show.  He, of course, is sitting pretty as the only Democrat in the Iowa Caucus voting.  It is hard to conceive of how he could lose his standing in the Iowa caucus. 

After tomorrow it will be done in Iowa.  A Republican winner will be leaving Iowa to pursue other treasures in other American States and Iowa will just be a distant and painful memory to those who did battle there.  Whoever is left after their Iowa bloodbath will be moving on to New Hampshire and South Carolina and on and on and on in this battle of the New Presidential Election Year.

As Tiny Tim would say in  Dicken's A Christmas Carol, "God Bless us, Every One." 




Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher