What The Fox Happened - An Unauthorized Apology That Fox News Should Have Been Required To Issue To The Dominion Voting Machine Company

Wednesday, April 26th, 2023 

My Dear America:

The Following Apology is merely a suggested outline for a Legitimate Apology that I feel should have been issued by Fox News at the time of their Multi Million Dollar Settlement with the Dominion Voting Machine Corporation.  Fox came up with the Cash-Big Time (787 Million Dollars Worth).  People, That Ain't Chump Change.  But  Uh - An Apology, Not so much.  So I thought that I would try to help out Fox News by Issuing their Apology to Dominion and to the American People on their behalf.

So Here Goes:

A Fox News Apology To Dominion Voting Machines Corporation & America

      Prepared and Issued by G. Gordon Gadfly, Fox News Minister of Patriotism

Recent Circumstances surrounding our Legal Difficulties with Dominion Voting Machine Corporation have caused those of us at Fox News who truly are Genuine Patriots to reevaluate our Responsibilities to our viewers and also to those people who are not Fox News Viewers.  

We are beyond ourselves with regrets regarding mistakes that we have made in the past.  One of those mistakes included our On Air Lies about who won the 2020 Election for President of the United States.  We now realize that Those lies fueled the Patriotic Fervor of those individuals who wanted so badly for Donald Trump to remain President of the United States that they Cooperated in the Shameful and Anti Democratic events of January Sixth, 2021.  Those events included such things as  breaking into the Capitol Building, building a scaffold to "Hang Mike Pence" and perhaps some other Politicians as well.  We realize that those individuals who ransacked the Capitol, beat the hell out of Police Officers and pooped all over the place were simply exercising their Patriotic Duty that we have tried to ingrain into our Fox News Viewers for so many years but what we did in pushing the Election Lies of Donald J. Trump and his Republican Conspirators was a mistake and regrettable.

What is doubly shameful on our part is the fact that we were the first network to call the Presidential Election For Joe Biden.  When Donald Trump dumped his ridiculous claims about "Winning the Election in a Landslide" on us we should have insisted that he should tell the truth but we didn't.  clearly the Former president did not want to be called a "Loser."  That was the kiss of death for him.  But he was a loser.  That was clear to us then and is even clearer to us now.  And as a result of our unwillingness to tell our viewers the truth we have now joined Donald Trump in the Loser's Circle.

We at Fox also regret the fact that we not only supported Donald "Loser" Trump after the 2020 Election but we also supported his Lying Loser Circle of Weird and Wacky Friends like Mike "The Pillow Guy" Lindell, Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani, among other Lying Losers who preferred to support Trump's unlawful attempt to become a Dictator over supporting Democracy and Joe Biden, the truly legitimate winner of the Presidency in November of 2020.

We at Fox News are at a loss as we realize by supporting Donald Trump for so long from the time of his First Campaign Announcement up until now just how many problems we have helped him to create not only in America but throughout the world.  Clearly we should have known from the time of his Announcement when he was disparaging Mexicans and stating that he would "Build a Wall And Mexico Would Pay for it" that Donald Trump was a liar of epic proportions.  But it was clear to us from the beginning of his run for President that this Liar had something special going for him.  Trump was capable of outrageous lies that no other Presidential Candidate in the history of the United States could ever have gotten away with and he still had people who loved him and supported him.  What the hell was it that this guy had.  We are still trying to figure that out.  But the Truth is that Fox Viewers loved Donald Trump and still do, many of them.  Certainly not all of them.  But there is no doubt that after Donald Trump (A dedicated Democrat for most of his life) decided to run for President as a Republican, clearly the Republican Party latched onto him and they have never to this day let him go.

Donald Trump was Twice impeached, took Russia's side in a dispute with America's Intelligence Agencies, Took Putin's side in the Invasion of Ukraine and led an Insurrection trying to get his followers to hang his Vice President and prevent Congress from Certifying Joe Biden's legitimate Election Victory.  He has recently been arrested and charged with criminal conduct in New York and may also be charged with even more serious crimes and he is still the leading Candidate on the Republican Ticket for President in 2024.  We at Fox would like to deep six Trump.  He has been nothing but trouble for us.  For God's sake, he and his lies have already cost us 787 Million Dollars.  But what can we do.  Are we going to refuse to cover the Leading Candidate for President in the Republican Party.  Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.  That's where we are at Fox News. We have no choice but to cover Former President Trump.

While we are mentioning our Mea Culpa's we also wish to apologize to other companies and Groups who are suing us for all manner of things.  Especially Smartmatic.  Please Smartmatic, go easy on us.  We have been through a lot and most of our money has gone to Dominion, not to mention the outrageous Legal Fees that we have already paid out. 

One additional Apology that we wish to make is to the women of Fox News who work in many types of employment positions at our company.  While we have paid off some of those women who have accused some Fox News Executives and Employees of Sexual Harassment and/or Sexual Abuse we at Fox are recognizing the error of our ways in not doing more to prevent cases of Sexual Misconduct by individuals in responsible positions at Fox News.  We now realize that our long time CEO at Fox News, Roger Ailes was guilty of Not Only Sexual Harassment but of Sexual Abuse, as well.  One Female Employee of Fox News who we paid off accused Roger of two decades of Sexual Abuse causing her to endure both Physical and Psychological repercussions.  We are sorry for that and we are also sorry for the problems caused by Bill O'Reilly and others, some of whom were forced out with significant payoffs.  The 2016 Suit brought against Fox by Gretchen Carlson with support from other Fox News Women caused us to significantly review our policies regarding Sexual Harassment and Sexual Abuse.  We regret that so many women of Fox News have had to endure Sexual Misconduct s the result of working for Fox News.  We pledge to do better going forward.   

Of Course, looking back on it We probably should have paid the Dominion Company up front, and avoided looking like fools when our Fox News On Air Talent like Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham and Sean Hannity's E Mail's and texts were released to Dominion and to the world.  Clearly their Texts and E Mails and the Texts and E Mails of other Fox News On Air Personalities have shown very clearly that Donald Trump was despised by these people despite the fact that they kissed his ass on air frequently even though they knew he was lying to them constantly.  We also apologize for the fact that Tucker Carlson is not only one of America's favorite On Air TV Personalities but we also regret that he is also one of Russia's favorite On Air Personalities and a genuine favorite Russian Asset for Vladimir Putin.  We now realize that he is a traitor but his Ratings on Fox News were so high that he thought we can't fire him.  As of now we are proud to say that Tucker Carlson was wrong.  He has cost our network too much money and credibility and is now permanently gone from Fox News.    

Finally, we think that it is time for us to apologize for our continuing Coverage of gun violence in America.  We think that it is about time for us to show the NRA the door and begin to discourage people like the 84 year old guy who shot a black kid because the kid came to his door and scared him.  The old guy's grandson told News people that his Grandfather watched our channels constantly.  We applaud his support for us but we wish he didn't shoot anybody.

From this day forward, we at Fox News are requesting that all of our viewers put your guns down and hand them over to the police in your area.  We especially wish our viewers stop buying AR 15 rifles and stop buying ammunition for them.

We also wish to promise our viewers that we have learned our lesson and will be more responsible in the future.  That is when and if our vast array of uninformed MAGA Republicans, Traitors and Old People continue to watch our Programs and buy our advertised products.  Unfortunately, if our viewers turn away from Fox and go to other Right Wing Propaganda Stations like One America News and Newsmax all bets are off and we are back on the Trump Train heading for 2024.

Thank you all for Reading or Listening to our Unauthorized Fox Apology.

Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher

No Shame In Nashville - At least Not For Republican Legislators

Saturday, April 8th, 2023

My Dear America:

I know that there are no Republicans looking for any Political Advice from me at this point in time, or at any point in time, for that matter.

But, regardless of that I am still going to give Republicans some free and I believe worthwhile advice that I hope they might freely use to improve their Political Future.

First of all, Dump Donald Trump and scrub every trace of his miserable Corrupt ass from your Party.  Trump has turned your Republican Party into  something that is unrecognizable compared to the Old and Highly Respected Republican Party of Yesteryear.  Maybe Republicans cannot see it as clearly as Democrats can but what is clear after over Six Years of Trump's massive corrupting influence over the Republican Party is that he and his MAGA Cohorts have commandeered your party and turned it into something akin to the Nazi Party that corrupted Germany and caused the Second World War and the Holocaust.

Secondly, Dump Ron Desantis, who is simply a Trump Clone who has tried and in some cases succeeded to be more extreme and destructive than his Mara Lago Mentor and 2024 Presidential Rival and since he still has some power in the State of Florida he continues to pull your party down a shameful path.

Thirdly,  Dump Maga Morons like Kevin McCarthy, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Paul Gosar and others who believe that the best things that they can do is follow Donald Trump to the Gates Of Hell and back.  These dumbasses, some of whom follow stupid Qanon  conspiracy Theories, need to be exorcised from your party like the demons thtat they are.

Fourthly,  Turn off your Fox News, Newsmax and OAN and start listening to Truthful News like MSNBC and CNN rather than LNN, Liars Network News.

In my opinion Republicans taking these simple steps that I just outlined could and would improve the future of the Republican Party significantly.

Now why would I really want to improve the prospects of the Republican Party.

Well, the truth is that I don't really want to see the Republican Party improve too significantly.  

Quite frankly, I am fairly certain that a Party that supports Fascists like Donald Trump, Ron Desantis and Tucker Carlson is too far gone down the rabbit hole to return to Reality and Democratic Values any time soon.

But the truth also is that America is a country that has developed and has been sustained by a Two Party System and to survive as a Democracy both of those two parties need to be both Strong and  Sane.  And right now only one of the major parties is Strong and Sane.  That party is the Democratic Party.

Republicans have clearly lost their minds over Donald Trump.  That was obvious long before this week's indictment of him for 34 Counts of Fraud by the New York City District Attorney, Alvin Bragg.  But now, everyone can see that Trump's disrespect and denigration of DA Bragg and the Judge in his case and the Judges family as well as Trump's constant threatening of Death and Destruction on Trump's Truth Social is way over the line of respectability and sanity.

What is truly disturbing to me is the fact that instead of Republicans recognizing how awful and disgusting Trump's attitude and behavior continues to be it seems as though many high profile Republicans don't seem to be angry at Trump.  They are instead angry and threatening toward the New York DA and Judge in the case.

The Republican madness is almost understandable when we see the attention paid by the news media to Trump's indictment.  Some news organizations followed Trump's procession from Mara Lago to the Airport, filming his takeoff in Florida and his landing in New York and the vehicle caravan from LaGuardia to Trump Tower.  In the few times and few minutes I was been able to stand the Indictment and Aftermath coverage on Fox, OAN and Newsmax I realized quickly what a different world those viewers were living in.  There was no discussion of Trump's Lies and deceptions.  He was a Genuine Hero on the Liars Networks. Incredible, absolutely incredible.

One of the worst things that Donald Trump has done to the Republican Party, I believe is his convincing the party members that they should be like him.  Never apologize.  Never admit weakness and, of course, never admit defeat. Never admit to being a "Loser."  Certainly in Trump's estimation Republicans should be like him and never be ashamed, or at least never admit to being ashamed of anything that they have done.

Certainly Trump's indictment coverage dominated the news this week even though there were major stories around the world that were far more consequential to the world than Trump's indictment.  

The war between Ukraine and their Russian Invaders continued.

There were Crowds of Jewish protestors fighting to keep their Prime Minister, Trump's Buddy Benjamin Netanyahu from destroying their Democracy by taking power away from their Supreme Court, who just happen to be investigating charges against Netanyahu.

There were crowds of Frenchmen protesting an increase in the retirement age in France.  

China was angry that Kevin McCarthy was meeting with the President of Taiwan at the Reagan Library in California.

There was plenty to be concerned about in the world and then there was the situation in Nashville that exploded out of the blue and suddenly focused attention on some of the nasty things happening in American Legislatures, much of which has been under the radar for some time now.

Back in the late Fifties and Sixties when Rockabilly Artist, Johnny Cash started out recording in Memphis, Tennessee his incredible backup band was called "The Tennessee Three."

After this week, however, we have a new "Tennessee Three."  They are Two Black Justin's, Justin Jones-27 representing Nashville and Justin Pearson-28 representing Memphis, as well as a White Gloria, Gloria Johnson-60-A retired Teacher and a survivor of a Knoxville School shooting in which one person was killed.

When a well attended group of mainly young students showed up at the Tennessee State House to demand the passage of Gun reform laws after a school shooting in Nashville that killed three children and three adults "The Tennessee Three" showed support for the young protestors and demanded that they might be heard by their colleagues in the Tennessee House of Representatives.  The House, which was dominated by Republicans, reacted quickly and viciously by voting to expel the two Black Justin's although they didn't expel White Gloria.  

Both Justin's have shown in their reactions to being thrown out of the Tennessee Legislature an incredible amount of restraint, courage, optimism and clearly some incredible oratorical skills that reminded me of Barack Obama.  Former President Obama and President Biden have already weighed in on the situation and Biden sent Vice President Harris to Nashville to meet with the now former legislators and their supporters.

Clearly this situation smacks of Racism, Republican unwillingness to do anything about gun violence and possibly some collusion between State Gun Manufacturers and Republican Legislators.

One thing is for sure.  This situation is not over.  Tennessee has had a lot to answer for previous to this. It was the state where the Ku Klux Klan was born.  It was a state where Civil Rights Struggles have been difficult and important.  It is also a state where a Republican State Legislator can make a statement about how it might be a good thing to bring back Lynching in the state.  That Legislator, however, continues to keep his seat while the Two Justin's are expelled for insisting that the Legislature needs to consider doing something about gun reform.

What I have seen in watching film of the Two Justin's speaking to the Legislature on their own behalf is that these two individuals are committed to gun reform and are two of the most articulate individuals that I have seen involved in Politics for a long time.  Whether or not they return to their elected posts in the Tennessee Legislature they are shining examples of why Republican Legislators are and should be panicked.

The Racists and the Fascists who are now running the show in Nashville, Washington and elsewhere can see the writing on the wall.  They refuse to pay attention to the lessons that they should have learned during recent elections.

The Democrats are on their way to the Future.  The Young, The Women, The Blacks and those people who have sincere compassion for other people are on their way.

So I say to Republicans.  Enjoy your power while you have it because a new day is dawning and you and your insane, ruthless and lying candidates are headed for the dustheap of history.

The Tennessee Three are only some of those New Democratic challengers who you will regret trying to shaft.

Sincerely Yours

Jerry Gallagher